Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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