i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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