Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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