i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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