i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
