What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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