My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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