adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
