If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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