Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
