I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
