Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
