So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
