My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
