he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
