I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
