Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
