fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
