dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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