I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need a beard to bite.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
