nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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