Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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