so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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