I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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