I want to make a zoo with you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There are leaves in my underwear?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
