the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
