did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
