you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
