Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
