dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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