Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
