We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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