There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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