By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
