I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
