Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
