here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
