I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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