How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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