Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Success! We fucked roommates!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
