At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
