so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
