Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
