we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
