meet me or not, i'm out of control
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
