I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
