so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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