I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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