just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
