Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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