dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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