Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
